[It was a world that didn't feel correct to him. The amount of choice and opulence seemed so bizarre, and how peaceful things were... how everyone had their place and their purpose. Not even Earth had seemed this way. It'd been striking to see that imbalance and injustice between people, socially and economically, was a disease that had spread throughout interplanetary space. To him, when he had seen it, it had seemed a powder keg with a fuse set to light at the sparsest spark.
Here, though? Everything just seemed kinda... inert. Or that it was working and spinning in its own way, but just in place, never progressing towards anything but the perpetual motion of its own function.
He guesses it could be worse. The people here are kept happy and sated. Isn't that what a society is supposed to give to its people? He isn't even sure anymore.
He isn't even surprised at Mika parroting his decision; he tended to lean on that when they sprung up. Maybe that's the reason he got the option with the fruit and chocolate when he could've been enticed by his curiosity and gotten the waffle with bacon bits cooked into it...
The vendor makes the two confections, exchanged swiftly for some of the credits in Mika's account. Orga begins to steer them away, taking a bite layered with chocolate and whipped cream and strawberries. It is good. Really good. Hell, could they get a waffle maker on board the Isaribi...?
Once his mouth isn't full he asks,] So, where are you staying? [Before summarily taking another sizable bite.]
[ What do a normal functioning society even give people these days? Food, shelter, some form of entertainment to keep them amused and happy between the drudgery of work. Even the Earth, that awed them so on that very first night, the faint light of the moon glancing, rippling over the biggest body of water that they'd ever seen, proved soon to be a disappointment. Everywhere had its own flaws and some place just hid it better than the others - this place is no different, but the cracks haven't started showing yet. The illusion holds, all but for a moment longer still.
Mika doesn't want a lot of happiness, he doesn't even really understand it that the full, tight feeling in his chest right now counts as some form of one. Just being back together with Orga, being beside him and exchanging what scant words they needed to express themselves to each other, was enough for him. ]
Same place as you. [ His own portion of the waffle is already halfway gone in that short amount of time as they turn and walk away from the vendor. The snow crunches underfoot, softly audible - a dichotomy to their steps side by side.
Same building, same apartment - the diction isn't exactly clear, but the meaning is; there's not a shred of doubt in Mika's answer. ]
Not as good as the Isaribi.
[ in more than a lot of ways, but there's barest edge of amusement breathed into the edges of the words. ]
[It was strange to imagine a society giving its people anything. That was one of the first lessons you learned, struggling to keep yourself fed, watered, and sheltered on the streets. No one owes you anything. No one cares. You are inconsequential. You will never amount to anything - not unless you fight, struggle and claw for what was kept away from you. It's what led them to CGS, to forming Tekkadan, to Earth, to where they walked along this street in this unbelievable city, worlds away. Orga's sure that, because of who they were and what they were, they would always carry a chip on their collective shoulders, always feeling the slight grating of otherness that persisted no matter where they were, only fading when they were all together.
It wasn't really fading now, but at least they could feel misplaced together.]
Oh. [He gives a low chuckle. Either Mika was being very direct or very suave, but Orga... knew enough to know that chances were, it was the former in intent... but with the latter perhaps implied. It's a relief, though. Figuring out accommodations was a burgeoning headache he could go ahead and set aside, rest assured that it was already settled.
He takes another bite. With as hungry as Orga is right now, he's actually keeping pace with Mika; this wasn't necessarily common, since he's convinced himself by this point that the kid actually has a miniature black hole wherever his stomach would otherwise be located, but it was noted as they made their way carefully through the snowy streets.]
Well. [He thinks of the ship for a moment, the first place they had really grasped their freedom and flown with it. The first place that they had truly made their own, the kids painting the halls and chambers with words and art that made it an extension of themselves.] Few places are as good as home.
[It wasn't really the Isaribi that was home, per se. The ships, their base on Mars, even the small place they staked out on Earth. All of them were bits and pieces, or perhaps shells of what their home really was. To Orga, home was family, and family was Tekkadan as a group, as a whole. The Isaribi only felt warm and comfortable with the undercurrents of familiar voices, all tied together by bonds forged in blood and iron.
Without all of them... no, nothing here would be the same.]
But we'll manage.
[Because Mika was the baseline he needed to be able to continue to pick the path forward. Everything else would be figured out later.]
I don't know where this mysterious place is, [he says, between the few bites of his food,] so you're going to have to lead the way.
[ Few places were as good. It's not like Mika to give much thought to things like that; there's no room for doubt in him, set rock-hard and impenetrable in his convictions, his belief in Orga. It's like he's thrown it all away in the dirty winding streets where they grew up in, left behind all the things that would hinder him, chain him from moving forward.
Sometimes, it would seem like he's driven only by some kind of pure, animal instinct rather than logic, but Mika knows that where ever he might end up, as long as Orga was there, everything was somehow going to be okay. Orga grounds him, directing him as surely as an arrow pointing out the way — the empty lost feeling in his gut that's stayed with him all this time like a leaf spinning on the surface of the water, meaningless and aimless, subside a little. ]
You're here now. [ He doesn't mean for that to be pressuring in any way, though it's always been the way for them — for Orga to decide and for him to act upon, as if he were but an extension of the other boy's will and wishes. A quick glance up, Mika shifts his gait slightly, deliberately bumping his shoulder against the other's arm. ] We'll be fine.
[ But, for this moment at least, Mika takes the lead — he's been at this place for longer than Orga has, and besides, he could see that he was tired; he knew better than anyone how hard Orga pushed himself in times of problems, and this was most definitely one of those times.
For now, for ease of sake, Mika doesn't bother trying to figure out just where Orga has been assigned to; the apartment is quiet when he unlocks the door to let them in — the others were probably asleep or out. ]
[There was a specific type of delegation that happened between them, one that played to each of their strengths, that helped unravel their potentials. It wasn't that Mika couldn't reason, or that a complex situation would confound him. The kid had a sharp mind when he used it, and the unswerving nature of his decisions and his solid instincts made him commendable in that area. But he functioned on a case-by-case basis, the larger scale plans or politics obfuscated. These were things that Orga took from him, freeing him to deal with smaller tasks and obstacles as they arose. The exchange, however, had been that Orga had to remove himself from the front line. It'd been difficult, of course. He didn't like giving orders he couldn't carry out just as willingly as his men could. But they'd convinced him to see the fallacy of that, to preserve him so they could preserve Tekkadan as a whole.
He wonders how much that system would function the same here. They might be more how they were before they'd gone to work for the CGS, when they had been looking after one another in the streets. The divisions hadn't been so clear back then. The time they had been most defined was, well — the day Mika had finally found a use for that gun they'd gotten a hold of.
That's what had set it all in motion, however, which had solidified their resolve and led them along a path where that gun had seen even more use than just that. He'd most likely be relying on it here as well, but... hopefully he'd be able to stand up for himself also, since that was a much more likely possibility here.
It wasn't something he wanted to talk to Mika about now. Filed away for a later date.
A warm smile breaks across Orga's face, and he swerves slightly as they walk to bump back into Mika in return.] Yeah. We will. [It was the assertion that they built everything off of, that so long as they kept the path ahead of them, everything would turn out fine.
They thread through the alien city, and after a period of time he wouldn't really be able to name, they end up at a large building. Upon entering it's clear that's an apartment complex of some nature, and they climb up to the eighth floor, finding the third room, and going inside. It was a shared living space; he could tell by the layout, the number of doors. How many people were they putting up here? He ends up not needing help navigating, as the bedrooms were labeled with the names of their occupants. He goes to Mika's, going inside, knowing that the other boy would be following.
He only spares a second for a cursory look around before shrugging of his Tekkadan jacket, hanging it across the back of a chair, soon followed by the maroon suit jacket. He steps carefully out of his shoes as he walks towards the bed, sitting at its foot, letting out a massive, tired sigh as he starts to tug at the knot of his tie.
His eyes had closed somewhere in the process of the sigh, and when he opens them, he sees Mika. One month. The guilt was dumb, unbidden, unnecessary, but it was there, tender like a fresh bruise. He stops what he's doing, hands dropping except for a brief moment to gesture to Mika, beckoning him over.] Come here. [The voice is soft, warm, even bizarrely gentle, a tone of voice preserved and kept between them.]
[ The room is simple; there's a bed and a table and few other assortments, all of which is bare. None of them are used to having so much space alloted to them for private use — mika frankly has no idea what to do with all this space. they were more used to huddling for warmth, hearing the others' breathing punctuating the quiet air of the nighttime and the rustle of bodies in sleep. That's how it had always been, from the streets to working under CGS to Tekkadan.
At first it was just convenience, for survival against everything that wanted to grind these nothing kids to the ground like they didn't exist. As it went on, it became more of a habit; without the sound of Orga's breathing near him, it was too quiet at night.
Mika stands by the door, watching Orga make his way about the room, the jackets being deposited over the back of the chair. The room is in half-darkness but what little light there is coming from the small window is enough to see by, to catch all of the little movements the other makes. Mika's gaze gleams faintly, either with interest or something else, as he tilts his head towards Orga's gesture, beckoning him closer.
There's no need to answer; they don't really have any need for words, not after all these years. One month of separation doesn't make an ounce of difference to the weight of everything they've shared. The guilt, unnecessary and therefore unacknowledged, Mika steps in closer, enough for their knees to brush. ]
[Nothing about the barrenness of the room surprises him. Mika had never had much to do with adornments or attachments; he was no slave to ostentation like Shino, not particularly sentimental or materialistic. Where some from as base a beginning as they might become entirely too prone to impulse when it came to material possessions, Mika had always been the opposite, finding anything unnecessary to who he was and what he did outside his sphere of interest. Orga was similar, though his living and work spaces inevitably became cluttered with everything involved with the ins and outs of daily work routine. Only the aftermath of what was necessary, things set aside to do later or to remind of something else.
Some might find the emptiness of the room alienating. To Orga, it just made sense, it was just indicative of Mika. In that way, then, it was comforting.
He walks closer as beckoned, a loose assembly of familiar shapes in the dim light filtering in through the window. Orga didn't need it. His right hand reaches out, moving behind the boy's back, pulling him a little closer. With the (opposite) disparity of height, sat as he was on the foot of the bed, Orga ends up around at the level of Mika's collarbone. It's strange - what strikes him first is that he smells different. Working with machinery rubbed off on you; metal and oil, sometimes the sharp acridity of electrical burn. It was replaced now with something utterly bizarre, and to someone from Mars, the scent of soil and foliage was almost impossible to place.
For a second it throws him off. Just a second. But it's just one aspect of a greater whole, and he accepts it, thinking that the earthiness of it was refreshing.
For the moment he rests his forehead against Mika's shoulder. His hands move, practiced, up and over the shoulder where his jacket was draped over the shoulder of his arm set in the sling. He follows this along the line of his shoulders, encouraging him to slip the other arm free of the heavy jacket. Next would be the sling itself, though that took a little more care, not only to make sure his arm was secured but also so that what was in it didn't get jostled or fall out...
He has practice, though.]
I was worried I'd be here without you. [Soft, barely audible, spoken next to the cloth of his shirt. It was a vulnerability that Orga rarely showed, for fear that it would be misconstrued, seen as either weakness or a gap in the armor of the infallible leader.
It wasn't either of these things before Mika. It was just truth, and one that he was grateful to have been dispelled.]
[ it was a change so gradual enough to escape his notice; the earthy, damp smell of soil that clings to him now, the tang of greenery that had been initially alien and surprising isn't something that registers to Mika as part of what or who he has become now in Orga's absence. even without his knowledge, unconscious or otherwise unintended, there are changes.
Orga still smells exactly the same, though, but for minor differences from the night spent outside, wandering. The one constant in Mika's orbit, the centred weight that grounds him.
He raised his arm obligingly, quiet and almost docile as the other works the coat off his shoulders, easing the sling over his head. The weight that lifts is more than physical.
I know, I was worried too, the words themselves aren't voiced out loud but Mika's fingers threading into the pale locks of hair speaks more than he could ever do with his mouth alone. The gaze turned downward to peer at his countenance softens, passing unseen in the darkness, in the warmth of his forehead pressing against his collar, the words breathed out. He just makes a soft sound of assent, of agreement in the back of his throat.
It's not a weakness he sees in Orga in moments like this; to Mika, Orga is many things — as many as the galaxies and planets dusted across the sky. But he is never weak. ]
[It was something that until this point Mika had only worn occasionally, while they were at their base on Mars, giving him the free time to go to Sakura's farm and help with their efforts there, occasionally trying experiments of his own to coax something else to a sustained life in the harsh, Martian soil. Without this it would've been far easier to keep from his mind the weeks' absence, to believe that Mika felt similarly to how he did, that they had only been separated within the last few days. But he had been on his own for that long, crafting himself into what he needed to be in order to survive here alone.
In a way, Orga is proud. They are two people irrevocably bonded, and he did not expect to live to see a point where they were functioning completely independent of one another. It was how they had always been, ever since their meeting which had marked the beginning of their shared existence. But... in a strange way, he's happy to know that Mika could make his own way, if need be. Call it the desire of a commander to know that there was at least the possibility for a contingency plan.
The coat slips off of his shoulders to crumple to the floor, the sling similarly discarded, though Orga is more cautious with this, lowering it by hand until it rest safely by the leg of the bed.
He didn't need to say anything. Orga probably hadn't needed to say anything either, but he did, feeling the impetus pressing against the walls of his chest. He could feel the answer more acutely: a sort of soft radiance of contentedness in the familiarity of it, a willingness to leave behind pains of the past so long as the future was different (something that they had determinedly lived by for nearly ten years). A(n admittedly slightly sleepy-sounding) grumble sounds in the back of Orga's throat as Mika's fingers twine through his hair, expert, spurring him to loop one arm around his waist, holding him close. Listening to the steady beat of his heart, counting without a goal, merely happy for the reminder.
He is like this long enough to forget he was counting, then straightening up, away from where he had momentarily rested against his collar, looking up to him as his free hand is lifted to brush somewhat wild hair from his face. Continuing onward to give him purchase enough, cupping his face, to bring him down to where his lips were parted waiting, eyes growing heavy-lidded in the way a curtain falls.]
[ a quite huff of laughter escapes him at that, a single sound that barely cuts across the silence that's comfortably fallen around them; protective, sheltering, something private shared between them. Mika doesn't show it often, the immovable impassive countenance shutting out most everything, the outward reactions muted and off-tune.
Orga is the only one who could bring up those things to the surface, dredging it up out of Mika, like reaching into his chest and pulling them out like they're some strange, unknown objects that he's unaware of. He's only ever like this for Orga, where Orga is concerned, in moments like this when he rests his head against him like Mika is someone that he could count on to stay. He is only ever — soft, is the closest word for it, there isn't anything soft about what and who they are, the life they chose to lead for themselves, but something most akin to it — for Orga and for him only.
Leaning into the hand threading into his hair, like flower turning its face to the sun, Mika slides calloused palm over the warm skin of the other's neck, drawing in careful and slow. His eyes are quiet, traces of the earlier mirth still flecked in the depths of it, rippling over with some unknown emotion that he would be hard pressed to explain, but — some sort of tenderness in his sternum, piercing through his gut.
Their lips fit together easily, half-parted, expectant, expected. ]
[Orga likes that there's this one side to Mika that only he gets to see, that only he seems to be versed enough in the language (verbally and physically) to bring out. Part of the reason was that it was, in a way, so antithetical to who Mika was as a person, as stoic as he was, as blunt as he was, as sharp as he could be, as brutal as Orga had seen him be. That he was also capable of what could almost be considered gentle, certainly thoughtful and meaningful.
It's held as a warmth trapped within Orga's chest, light and flickering as a flame, somewhat vulnerable, but that's what safety always was. It was a common misconception that safety was ironclad, that it truly the sanctuary it promised. It's because the concept of safety itself was a misconception. One was never truly safe. That was just the way of the world. They had certainly pulled down those that might have viewed themselves as secure in their invulnerability, showing them the harshness of such an assumption. It was a lie that, shared between themselves, they preserved for one another, a veil of illusion that offered moments of peace where they usually would not survive.
It is a promise not to keep anything from ever happening, but being able to handle it when things did.
It's all paradoxical in nature, sure. But aren't they all.
They are mutually pliant to familiar touch. Though the movement is smooth, harsh work had rendered Mika's hand rough as it passes over the tender skin of his neck; it's a further pressing impetus to draw him in closer as their lips finally meet, the hand at the small of his back firm and guiding as he edges backwards onto the bed, until his own meets the wall.
With the movement, the kiss is momentarily postponed, more of a statement of a connection rather than the expression of it. But once he grows still again, and after waiting for Mika to settle, he presses forward once more. There's more of an intent in the kiss now, though it's still slow to a point of methodical, lips parted against Mika's as his actions seem to pose an unasked question:
What does he need to have to feel secure that he wasn't going to leave again?
[ Out of everyone he's ever met or ever will get to meet, the one who understands him best -- the one who will know him fully inside and out is -- always Orga. He is the point of beginning for Mikazuki, where he come from, where he will be, and over the years the other boy has seen the numerous varied facets of his personality all come together into a sharp, focused point, an edge of knife honed towards their goal, a ray of light turned in the direction of where they are heading towards.
For Orga, he has so many words, all going unspoken because it wasn't needed for him to ever say anything, because what they had went beyond simple words and neat little categories in which to pack it away.
Mika pauses, pulling back a little to let Orga make his way further up the bed without any hindrance, watching him with eyes that shine in the half-darkness, unblinking and focused to a point of what could be called unnerving by most others, but that's just the way he is. When it comes to Orga, he doesn't miss any single thing. Once the other has settled back against the wall, he crawls forward on his knees, his good hand finding the other's, intertwining their fingers together securely, tightly enough so that Orga may feel the slight prickle of insecurity that he may have felt in the month of separation, in the absence of the familiar shape and smell of him close by. The kiss is -- slow, again, with an edge of a question, some kind of uncertainty that Mika instinctively feels. ]
Orga, [ Mika sounds - no different from any usual, and he murmurs it close against the corner of the other's mouth, their breath shared, mingling, like he can't bear to lean away again. ] It's fine.
[The nature of their origin and their survival was unique, allowing then for the uniqueness of their relationship: a companionship that was not so much necessarily a partnership as it was a kinship, a kind of closeness and instinctual familiarity that was sooner offered by two systems working seamlessly in tandem within the same mechanism rather than two separate machines at all. The truth of it showed in their function, in how they always only pursued the same thing without a single screech of dissent.
Tekkadan had evolved rapidly into something Orga had not quite expected: a family, a further reason for pressing their advantage and pressing on. To each and every person within their ranks he owed gratitude and also something greater, a future which would make memories of fear and pain evaporate like the nightly rain in the fresh face of the morning sun. This was an imperative that would become him, in a way, but there was another side to it: that without Mika in that selfsame equation, it would all become hollow, the brittle facade of a promise that had already been broken.
They were to one another primary objectives, something precious to be safeguarded at all costs.
Mika is always about intent, about the tenuous edge of potential energy ready to be transformed into kinetic. It's why Orga's never intimidated by the sharp acuity in his gaze; it's who he is, and it's something he depends upon him for. In the same breath his actions are always economical. Where Orga could be circuitous in either word or action (if it suited him or, more likely, suited the hive of thoughts presenting themselves as he worked through something mentally), Mika cut through that, laconic yet precise, following Orga as he settled, fingers wasting no time in interlacing with his own. He can't help but smile faintly against the kiss.
A mm of response sounds in his throat, similarly disinterested in disengaging. He weighs the response that follows, his free hand moving to the side of his face, tracing the line of his jaw, thumb brushing for just a moment across the cheek below a sightless eye.]
Okay.
[He knows Mika doesn't bother lying. Especially not to him.
Using that hand on his face as gentle leverage, he guides the two of them down to the bed. It moves, though, as soon as the intent is established, traveling to take his other arm, carefully folding it into a comfortable position as they settle once more.
Exhaustion was a tricky thing, and it tempted one to be lost in a grey area between where either sleep attacked you at your soonest moment of weakness or where it retreated into (often frustrating) distance. Oftentimes Orga sought out the latter, trading anything for more hours in a day, but here he believes things will be markedly different.]
[ some people might believe that Mika was incapable of lying simply because he had no capacity to do so - that the very simplicity in the way he thought and acted upon said thoughts, direct and without any compromise or tact, was somehow a direct indication of his intelligence. but what's the point of lying? it just made things more complicated for everyone. he approaches everything in the same way, wholly and without any deception, his intentions as clear as day. this makes it difficult probably in terms of strategy or negotiating, with Mika sometimes acting too honestly to a fault.
when people respond to him the way as orga does, without any unnecessary falsifications in the way, it makes it easier. when it comes down to orga, there's a certain sort of understanding, perhaps, that maybe this directness, his uncompromising stance to things, could come in useful for him.
but for now, in this moment and time Mika is docile, letting orga arrange their limbs to his satisfaction on the small bed. it's a tight fit for the two of them, but this was more like what mika was used to; huddling for warmth or some kind of unspoken comfort, some reassurance. ]
Sleep. [ he can feel that the other is exhausted, in the edges of his voice, the corners of his eyes, the languid, sluggish movement of his limbs as he guides them to lay on the bed. ]
[As he'd proceeded through life from their troubled and difficult roots to where they were today, Orga had recognized something. There was something reflected of humans in the things that they made: from tools to vehicles to weapons to architecture, the form was always indicative of the function. In a way the same was true for people, though it wasn't so much the physical form as that of their mentality; a person's mien shaped the space around them, created the shape that they would form to fit with others in a unit — even if the fit was good or poor. Mika was blunt. He always had been. Direct to the point of severity, though those who knew him best knew that the words that could sometimes seem cutting were, in truth, emblematic of his concern or even affection. He suffered no errors in those he cared for. Orga knew this better than most, having so carefully crafted himself into the pillar that Mika could rely on, a lens through which he could discern the ways best to utilize his strength.
If their form matched their function, his was made specifically to match and augment Mika's, though he knows the same was not true for the other. No one had ever affected the way he existed in the world. He had always been a fixed point, an immovable piece in an entropic universe.
It's not to say that they didn't fall into such easy and comfortable patterns physically as well; even in the narrow bed it was a retreading of dozens if not hundreds of nights scattered throughout the past, clinging to one another as lifelines in a turbulent present, an uncertain future.
He isn't sure what is true for them now, but then again right now it didn't really matter.
Perhaps a low,] mm, [of agreement could be heard within the breaths that were growing more and more regulated, but with the how swiftly sleep stole the animation from and leadened his limbs around Mika, it might be argued it was just imagined.
Yes. It would all have to wait for tomorrow. For now, there was just this.]
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Here, though? Everything just seemed kinda... inert. Or that it was working and spinning in its own way, but just in place, never progressing towards anything but the perpetual motion of its own function.
He guesses it could be worse. The people here are kept happy and sated. Isn't that what a society is supposed to give to its people? He isn't even sure anymore.
He isn't even surprised at Mika parroting his decision; he tended to lean on that when they sprung up. Maybe that's the reason he got the option with the fruit and chocolate when he could've been enticed by his curiosity and gotten the waffle with bacon bits cooked into it...
The vendor makes the two confections, exchanged swiftly for some of the credits in Mika's account. Orga begins to steer them away, taking a bite layered with chocolate and whipped cream and strawberries. It is good. Really good. Hell, could they get a waffle maker on board the Isaribi...?
Once his mouth isn't full he asks,] So, where are you staying? [Before summarily taking another sizable bite.]
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Mika doesn't want a lot of happiness, he doesn't even really understand it that the full, tight feeling in his chest right now counts as some form of one. Just being back together with Orga, being beside him and exchanging what scant words they needed to express themselves to each other, was enough for him. ]
Same place as you. [ His own portion of the waffle is already halfway gone in that short amount of time as they turn and walk away from the vendor. The snow crunches underfoot, softly audible - a dichotomy to their steps side by side.
Same building, same apartment - the diction isn't exactly clear, but the meaning is; there's not a shred of doubt in Mika's answer. ]
Not as good as the Isaribi.
[ in more than a lot of ways, but there's barest edge of amusement breathed into the edges of the words. ]
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It wasn't really fading now, but at least they could feel misplaced together.]
Oh. [He gives a low chuckle. Either Mika was being very direct or very suave, but Orga... knew enough to know that chances were, it was the former in intent... but with the latter perhaps implied. It's a relief, though. Figuring out accommodations was a burgeoning headache he could go ahead and set aside, rest assured that it was already settled.
He takes another bite. With as hungry as Orga is right now, he's actually keeping pace with Mika; this wasn't necessarily common, since he's convinced himself by this point that the kid actually has a miniature black hole wherever his stomach would otherwise be located, but it was noted as they made their way carefully through the snowy streets.]
Well. [He thinks of the ship for a moment, the first place they had really grasped their freedom and flown with it. The first place that they had truly made their own, the kids painting the halls and chambers with words and art that made it an extension of themselves.] Few places are as good as home.
[It wasn't really the Isaribi that was home, per se. The ships, their base on Mars, even the small place they staked out on Earth. All of them were bits and pieces, or perhaps shells of what their home really was. To Orga, home was family, and family was Tekkadan as a group, as a whole. The Isaribi only felt warm and comfortable with the undercurrents of familiar voices, all tied together by bonds forged in blood and iron.
Without all of them... no, nothing here would be the same.]
But we'll manage.
[Because Mika was the baseline he needed to be able to continue to pick the path forward. Everything else would be figured out later.]
I don't know where this mysterious place is, [he says, between the few bites of his food,] so you're going to have to lead the way.
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Sometimes, it would seem like he's driven only by some kind of pure, animal instinct rather than logic, but Mika knows that where ever he might end up, as long as Orga was there, everything was somehow going to be okay. Orga grounds him, directing him as surely as an arrow pointing out the way — the empty lost feeling in his gut that's stayed with him all this time like a leaf spinning on the surface of the water, meaningless and aimless, subside a little. ]
You're here now. [ He doesn't mean for that to be pressuring in any way, though it's always been the way for them — for Orga to decide and for him to act upon, as if he were but an extension of the other boy's will and wishes. A quick glance up, Mika shifts his gait slightly, deliberately bumping his shoulder against the other's arm. ] We'll be fine.
[ But, for this moment at least, Mika takes the lead — he's been at this place for longer than Orga has, and besides, he could see that he was tired; he knew better than anyone how hard Orga pushed himself in times of problems, and this was most definitely one of those times.
For now, for ease of sake, Mika doesn't bother trying to figure out just where Orga has been assigned to; the apartment is quiet when he unlocks the door to let them in — the others were probably asleep or out. ]
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He wonders how much that system would function the same here. They might be more how they were before they'd gone to work for the CGS, when they had been looking after one another in the streets. The divisions hadn't been so clear back then. The time they had been most defined was, well — the day Mika had finally found a use for that gun they'd gotten a hold of.
That's what had set it all in motion, however, which had solidified their resolve and led them along a path where that gun had seen even more use than just that. He'd most likely be relying on it here as well, but... hopefully he'd be able to stand up for himself also, since that was a much more likely possibility here.
It wasn't something he wanted to talk to Mika about now. Filed away for a later date.
A warm smile breaks across Orga's face, and he swerves slightly as they walk to bump back into Mika in return.] Yeah. We will. [It was the assertion that they built everything off of, that so long as they kept the path ahead of them, everything would turn out fine.
They thread through the alien city, and after a period of time he wouldn't really be able to name, they end up at a large building. Upon entering it's clear that's an apartment complex of some nature, and they climb up to the eighth floor, finding the third room, and going inside. It was a shared living space; he could tell by the layout, the number of doors. How many people were they putting up here? He ends up not needing help navigating, as the bedrooms were labeled with the names of their occupants. He goes to Mika's, going inside, knowing that the other boy would be following.
He only spares a second for a cursory look around before shrugging of his Tekkadan jacket, hanging it across the back of a chair, soon followed by the maroon suit jacket. He steps carefully out of his shoes as he walks towards the bed, sitting at its foot, letting out a massive, tired sigh as he starts to tug at the knot of his tie.
His eyes had closed somewhere in the process of the sigh, and when he opens them, he sees Mika. One month. The guilt was dumb, unbidden, unnecessary, but it was there, tender like a fresh bruise. He stops what he's doing, hands dropping except for a brief moment to gesture to Mika, beckoning him over.] Come here. [The voice is soft, warm, even bizarrely gentle, a tone of voice preserved and kept between them.]
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At first it was just convenience, for survival against everything that wanted to grind these nothing kids to the ground like they didn't exist. As it went on, it became more of a habit; without the sound of Orga's breathing near him, it was too quiet at night.
Mika stands by the door, watching Orga make his way about the room, the jackets being deposited over the back of the chair. The room is in half-darkness but what little light there is coming from the small window is enough to see by, to catch all of the little movements the other makes. Mika's gaze gleams faintly, either with interest or something else, as he tilts his head towards Orga's gesture, beckoning him closer.
There's no need to answer; they don't really have any need for words, not after all these years. One month of separation doesn't make an ounce of difference to the weight of everything they've shared. The guilt, unnecessary and therefore unacknowledged, Mika steps in closer, enough for their knees to brush. ]
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Some might find the emptiness of the room alienating. To Orga, it just made sense, it was just indicative of Mika. In that way, then, it was comforting.
He walks closer as beckoned, a loose assembly of familiar shapes in the dim light filtering in through the window. Orga didn't need it. His right hand reaches out, moving behind the boy's back, pulling him a little closer. With the (opposite) disparity of height, sat as he was on the foot of the bed, Orga ends up around at the level of Mika's collarbone. It's strange - what strikes him first is that he smells different. Working with machinery rubbed off on you; metal and oil, sometimes the sharp acridity of electrical burn. It was replaced now with something utterly bizarre, and to someone from Mars, the scent of soil and foliage was almost impossible to place.
For a second it throws him off. Just a second. But it's just one aspect of a greater whole, and he accepts it, thinking that the earthiness of it was refreshing.
For the moment he rests his forehead against Mika's shoulder. His hands move, practiced, up and over the shoulder where his jacket was draped over the shoulder of his arm set in the sling. He follows this along the line of his shoulders, encouraging him to slip the other arm free of the heavy jacket. Next would be the sling itself, though that took a little more care, not only to make sure his arm was secured but also so that what was in it didn't get jostled or fall out...
He has practice, though.]
I was worried I'd be here without you. [Soft, barely audible, spoken next to the cloth of his shirt. It was a vulnerability that Orga rarely showed, for fear that it would be misconstrued, seen as either weakness or a gap in the armor of the infallible leader.
It wasn't either of these things before Mika. It was just truth, and one that he was grateful to have been dispelled.]
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Orga still smells exactly the same, though, but for minor differences from the night spent outside, wandering. The one constant in Mika's orbit, the centred weight that grounds him.
He raised his arm obligingly, quiet and almost docile as the other works the coat off his shoulders, easing the sling over his head. The weight that lifts is more than physical.
I know, I was worried too, the words themselves aren't voiced out loud but Mika's fingers threading into the pale locks of hair speaks more than he could ever do with his mouth alone. The gaze turned downward to peer at his countenance softens, passing unseen in the darkness, in the warmth of his forehead pressing against his collar, the words breathed out. He just makes a soft sound of assent, of agreement in the back of his throat.
It's not a weakness he sees in Orga in moments like this; to Mika, Orga is many things — as many as the galaxies and planets dusted across the sky. But he is never weak. ]
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In a way, Orga is proud. They are two people irrevocably bonded, and he did not expect to live to see a point where they were functioning completely independent of one another. It was how they had always been, ever since their meeting which had marked the beginning of their shared existence. But... in a strange way, he's happy to know that Mika could make his own way, if need be. Call it the desire of a commander to know that there was at least the possibility for a contingency plan.
The coat slips off of his shoulders to crumple to the floor, the sling similarly discarded, though Orga is more cautious with this, lowering it by hand until it rest safely by the leg of the bed.
He didn't need to say anything. Orga probably hadn't needed to say anything either, but he did, feeling the impetus pressing against the walls of his chest. He could feel the answer more acutely: a sort of soft radiance of contentedness in the familiarity of it, a willingness to leave behind pains of the past so long as the future was different (something that they had determinedly lived by for nearly ten years). A(n admittedly slightly sleepy-sounding) grumble sounds in the back of Orga's throat as Mika's fingers twine through his hair, expert, spurring him to loop one arm around his waist, holding him close. Listening to the steady beat of his heart, counting without a goal, merely happy for the reminder.
He is like this long enough to forget he was counting, then straightening up, away from where he had momentarily rested against his collar, looking up to him as his free hand is lifted to brush somewhat wild hair from his face. Continuing onward to give him purchase enough, cupping his face, to bring him down to where his lips were parted waiting, eyes growing heavy-lidded in the way a curtain falls.]
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Orga is the only one who could bring up those things to the surface, dredging it up out of Mika, like reaching into his chest and pulling them out like they're some strange, unknown objects that he's unaware of. He's only ever like this for Orga, where Orga is concerned, in moments like this when he rests his head against him like Mika is someone that he could count on to stay. He is only ever — soft, is the closest word for it, there isn't anything soft about what and who they are, the life they chose to lead for themselves, but something most akin to it — for Orga and for him only.
Leaning into the hand threading into his hair, like flower turning its face to the sun, Mika slides calloused palm over the warm skin of the other's neck, drawing in careful and slow. His eyes are quiet, traces of the earlier mirth still flecked in the depths of it, rippling over with some unknown emotion that he would be hard pressed to explain, but — some sort of tenderness in his sternum, piercing through his gut.
Their lips fit together easily, half-parted, expectant, expected. ]
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It's held as a warmth trapped within Orga's chest, light and flickering as a flame, somewhat vulnerable, but that's what safety always was. It was a common misconception that safety was ironclad, that it truly the sanctuary it promised. It's because the concept of safety itself was a misconception. One was never truly safe. That was just the way of the world. They had certainly pulled down those that might have viewed themselves as secure in their invulnerability, showing them the harshness of such an assumption. It was a lie that, shared between themselves, they preserved for one another, a veil of illusion that offered moments of peace where they usually would not survive.
It is a promise not to keep anything from ever happening, but being able to handle it when things did.
It's all paradoxical in nature, sure. But aren't they all.
They are mutually pliant to familiar touch. Though the movement is smooth, harsh work had rendered Mika's hand rough as it passes over the tender skin of his neck; it's a further pressing impetus to draw him in closer as their lips finally meet, the hand at the small of his back firm and guiding as he edges backwards onto the bed, until his own meets the wall.
With the movement, the kiss is momentarily postponed, more of a statement of a connection rather than the expression of it. But once he grows still again, and after waiting for Mika to settle, he presses forward once more. There's more of an intent in the kiss now, though it's still slow to a point of methodical, lips parted against Mika's as his actions seem to pose an unasked question:
What does he need to have to feel secure that he wasn't going to leave again?
And then Orga would fulfill it.]
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For Orga, he has so many words, all going unspoken because it wasn't needed for him to ever say anything, because what they had went beyond simple words and neat little categories in which to pack it away.
Mika pauses, pulling back a little to let Orga make his way further up the bed without any hindrance, watching him with eyes that shine in the half-darkness, unblinking and focused to a point of what could be called unnerving by most others, but that's just the way he is. When it comes to Orga, he doesn't miss any single thing. Once the other has settled back against the wall, he crawls forward on his knees, his good hand finding the other's, intertwining their fingers together securely, tightly enough so that Orga may feel the slight prickle of insecurity that he may have felt in the month of separation, in the absence of the familiar shape and smell of him close by. The kiss is -- slow, again, with an edge of a question, some kind of uncertainty that Mika instinctively feels. ]
Orga, [ Mika sounds - no different from any usual, and he murmurs it close against the corner of the other's mouth, their breath shared, mingling, like he can't bear to lean away again. ] It's fine.
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Tekkadan had evolved rapidly into something Orga had not quite expected: a family, a further reason for pressing their advantage and pressing on. To each and every person within their ranks he owed gratitude and also something greater, a future which would make memories of fear and pain evaporate like the nightly rain in the fresh face of the morning sun. This was an imperative that would become him, in a way, but there was another side to it: that without Mika in that selfsame equation, it would all become hollow, the brittle facade of a promise that had already been broken.
They were to one another primary objectives, something precious to be safeguarded at all costs.
Mika is always about intent, about the tenuous edge of potential energy ready to be transformed into kinetic. It's why Orga's never intimidated by the sharp acuity in his gaze; it's who he is, and it's something he depends upon him for. In the same breath his actions are always economical. Where Orga could be circuitous in either word or action (if it suited him or, more likely, suited the hive of thoughts presenting themselves as he worked through something mentally), Mika cut through that, laconic yet precise, following Orga as he settled, fingers wasting no time in interlacing with his own. He can't help but smile faintly against the kiss.
A mm of response sounds in his throat, similarly disinterested in disengaging. He weighs the response that follows, his free hand moving to the side of his face, tracing the line of his jaw, thumb brushing for just a moment across the cheek below a sightless eye.]
Okay.
[He knows Mika doesn't bother lying. Especially not to him.
Using that hand on his face as gentle leverage, he guides the two of them down to the bed. It moves, though, as soon as the intent is established, traveling to take his other arm, carefully folding it into a comfortable position as they settle once more.
Exhaustion was a tricky thing, and it tempted one to be lost in a grey area between where either sleep attacked you at your soonest moment of weakness or where it retreated into (often frustrating) distance. Oftentimes Orga sought out the latter, trading anything for more hours in a day, but here he believes things will be markedly different.]
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when people respond to him the way as orga does, without any unnecessary falsifications in the way, it makes it easier. when it comes down to orga, there's a certain sort of understanding, perhaps, that maybe this directness, his uncompromising stance to things, could come in useful for him.
but for now, in this moment and time Mika is docile, letting orga arrange their limbs to his satisfaction on the small bed. it's a tight fit for the two of them, but this was more like what mika was used to; huddling for warmth or some kind of unspoken comfort, some reassurance. ]
Sleep. [ he can feel that the other is exhausted, in the edges of his voice, the corners of his eyes, the languid, sluggish movement of his limbs as he guides them to lay on the bed. ]
We'll talk more tomorrow.
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If their form matched their function, his was made specifically to match and augment Mika's, though he knows the same was not true for the other. No one had ever affected the way he existed in the world. He had always been a fixed point, an immovable piece in an entropic universe.
It's not to say that they didn't fall into such easy and comfortable patterns physically as well; even in the narrow bed it was a retreading of dozens if not hundreds of nights scattered throughout the past, clinging to one another as lifelines in a turbulent present, an uncertain future.
He isn't sure what is true for them now, but then again right now it didn't really matter.
Perhaps a low,] mm, [of agreement could be heard within the breaths that were growing more and more regulated, but with the how swiftly sleep stole the animation from and leadened his limbs around Mika, it might be argued it was just imagined.
Yes. It would all have to wait for tomorrow. For now, there was just this.]